William, It Was Really Nothing: Why This Smiths Song Is Still Quite Something

The lyrics: “Was William about Billy MacKenzie? I think so…”

Those words came from one of many great lines in what’s regarded as one of the best Morrissey lyrics of all time (“Would you like to marry me?/And if you like you can buy the ring”). However, who the question was directed at – or, indeed, who the titular William actually was – have long since been hot topics for discussion among fans.

One frequently voiced theory suggests that the William of the song was actually The Associates’ late singer, Billy MacKenzie. Morrissey and the Scottish post-punk band’s equally flamboyant frontman were known to be friends for a brief period, while The Associates recorded a song called Stephen, You’re Really Something, which was eventually released on the 2000 compilation Double Hipness.

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“Was William… about Billy?” The Associates’ guitarist Alan Rankine pondered in a 2016 Mojo interview. “I think so, but it wasn’t something we discussed. Billy was very compartmentalised [in his life]. In Auchterhouse [where The Associates reunited for recording sessions in 1993], the first song we did was Stephen, It Was Really Something. I was Mick Ronson circa 1973 and Billy was David Bowie and that’s what came out. We were pissing ourselves laughing.”

However, Smiths biographer Tony Fletcher believes Morrissey based the lyrics to William, It Was Really Nothing on the main character in Keith Waterhouse’s 1959 novel, Billy Liar. The book was adapted into a film in 1963: a classic British kitchen-sink drama with Tom Courtenay playing the lead role, William Fisher.

“Morrissey’s immortal line, mid-song – ‘Would you like to marry me?/And if you like you can buy the ring’ – could have been delivered by the foul-mouthed café waitress Rita (played by Gwendolyn Watts), whose determination to capture Fisher in marriage offered a frighteningly vivid reminder of the loveless social contract at the heart of too many young working class-families of that era,” Fletcher posited.

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For his part, Morrissey’s own explanation suggested Fletcher may be at least half right. “It occurred to me that within popular music if ever there were any records that discussed marriage they were always from the female’s standpoint,” he offered. “Female singers singing to women: whenever there were any songs saying ‘do not marry, stay single, self-preservation, etc’ I thought it was about time there was a male voice speaking directly to another male saying that marriage was a waste of time… that, in fact, it was ‘absolutely nothing’.”

The legacy: “It succeeded quite marvellously”

Ultimately, though, the issues fans had in defining who William was only added to the song’s attraction. Quickly established as a live favourite, William, It Was Really Nothing went on to become a fixture of The Smiths’ live set for the rest of 1984 and most of the following year, and it’s since made its presence felt on mandatory Smiths compilations such as Hatful Of Hollow (1984), Louder Than Bombs (1987) and the self-explanatory Singles (1995). Clocking in at just two minutes and ten seconds (the third shortest Smiths single, after Girlfriend In A Coma and Shakespeare’s Sister), this beautifully executed pop song may be bright and breezy, but it still has enough substance to stand up and be counted today.

“It opened with a flamenco-like flourish of competing acoustic guitars…, an intro as short as the original [BBC] Radio 1 version of This Charming Man,” Tony Fletcher wrote in A Light That Never Goes Out. “It then set out to see if it could cram several dozen chord changes, multiple guitar parts both electric and acoustic, and an entire kitchen-sink drama into just two minutes – and succeeded quite marvellously.”

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